Silence
by DreamingJay
Summary: The silence haunts him, and he longs for the sound of little feet on the floor.


One-shot.

Disclaimer: I don't own The Hunger Games or Peeta and Katniss.

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Silence. It wasn't a sound he was used to. He was all to used to the roar of the ovens, feet on floorboards, yelling, the chiming of a cash register. Not used to the silence that plagued Katniss' and his house. She had no problems with it what so ever. She was used to slience, the natural quietness of her woods. The slience that was suffocating him that had no effect on her. On good days for both of them, he would tell her everything that happened that day and she would tell him her day in return. On the worst days, they sometimes didn't even leave the bedroom for the fear of a flashback for either of them.

Those flashbacks that occurred so rarely now, and even when they did, he never made a move towards her. He would grab the back of a chair, bear it, knowing that it would soon pass and he could go back to what he was doing.

The flashbacks didn't cause him the great pain that the silence of the house did though. And as the years passed, he himself only got quieter and quieter. How desperately he wanted to hear the pitter-patter of little feet with laughter laced with them. How he wanted to hear them come into the kitchen and smile at them, showing them how to bake, while Katniss could teach them how to hunt.

He knew better then to ask anymore. The last time he had, they didn't speak until Katniss had a nightmare a few nights later. Even now, a few years later, the argument was still clear in his mind. He could still hear her pain in her voice, and the hurt he'd felt.

-  
_"Why Katniss? Why can't we have children? The Games are gone! You know I would do everything in my power to protect them, so I don't understand why you keep saying no!" Hurt flickered in his eyes as he said this. He wanted children almost as badly as he wanted her and even though he knew she could see it, she still refused._

_"I have every right to! And what if we can't, Peeta? What if we can't protect them? What if the Capitol rises again and brings the Games back? Our children would be the first ones to go and we'd be powerless to stop it!"_

_"You know Paylor took some steps to prevent that. You know she did, Katniss. You know I wouldn't let them go back into the arena if it came to that. And the Games did come back, we could always run away, like you suggested yourself before the Quell."_

_At this, he saw a flicker of happiness in her eyes, a weird thing to happen while they were arguing. He knew why though, she was always happy when he could remember little things like that. Usually, she would give him a kiss, but in the middle of an argument, he was more likely to get an arrow in his back then a kiss._

_"Yes, and they would find us again and just torture us, turn us all into Avoxes or just kill us all!"_

_Anger and the mutt side of himself made him spit out words that he never would've said in a rational state towards her. "Its at least better then waiting around to die like Prim or Finnick!"_

_He watched her break. Her anger and sadness conflicted, before she grabbed a glass next to her and threw it at him, before running from the room._  
-

It had only happened two years ago. It'd been almost fifteen years since he came back to District 12, and in those fifteen years, he'd married the woman he'd always wanted, always needed. But it wasn't enough. Because over the those same fifteen years, the arguments over children and the silence that came from none still haunted him.

He rarely spoke now, not using his elegant use of words, knowing that nothing would persede her to change her mind. He could hear the front door open and slam, knowing that she was home, and knowing that he wouldn't say a single word to her. The only things he ever said now to her was good morning, good night, that he loved her and on the occasion, comforting her when she had a nightmare. But he was never shy in his actions towards her. He never went silent with his actions, as for him, it was almost impossible not to touch her and kiss her lips after she came home.

"Peeta." she said lightly. He'd been so deep in thought, that he didn't even realized she had crept up right next to him. "Peeta." she said again. "You're not having another flashback are you?" He shook his head no. She smiled, then gave him a quick kiss before turning to leave. He grabbed her hand. "Katniss."

She could see it in his eyes. She knew his burning desire to have children, and now she was afraid he was going to ask her again. She knew that no children was the reason he was so quiet. The reason that his eyes so rarely sparkled anymore. She couldn't give him what he wanted, and she didn't even know why anymore. The Games were long gone, the country of Panem was at peace and even extra measures had been taken to make sure the Games never returned.

She knew that Peeta's flashbacks came so rarely now, and even when the worse ones came, he'd never taken any step towards her to harm her and she knew if they had children, he wouldn't harm them either. Could she ever allow children into her life? She'd loved Prim, her little sister. She loved Peeta, even in his evergrowing silence that she hated. Couldn't she love something that was herself and his? Or was that what was stopping her? The fact that she didn't want any child to be like her?

She ran. She somehow pulled her hand out of his and ran as fast as she could, hating the silence that their house had. Caused by her. Cause by her own reluctance. She didn't want to face Peeta with his silence, not even knowing why he was still with her. He insisted he loved her, but all she could see was those dead blue eyes of his. The only time they ever sparkled anymore was when she told him she loved him too. And because of that, she always managed to try and tell him, just so she could see that sparkle, the fleeting moment of happiness come over him, even if just for a second.

Somehow, she ended up at the lake, sitting at its edge, staring out across the water. She could hear his footsteps, they had never quieted, unlike his voice. He sat next to her, his eyes glowing with concern and worry.

"I hate you." she blurted out, surprising the man next to her. "I hate how you torture me with silence. I hate how you claim your happy just to have me even though we both know better. I hate-" and suddenly, his lips were on hers, briefly before pulling away and having his blue eyes look into her grey ones. "Look at me, Katniss." he said gently. She did. "I love you. I'm so sorry about me going silent, I'm terrified that I'm going to say the wrong things and that you'll leave and never come back and -" She puts a finger to his lips. "You have never ever said the wrong thing." He scoffs at this. She answers it. "That isn't really you. I'm not going to leave you." "Not ever?" he says softly. "Not ever. I'll always be here. I love you too, Peeta. And I wish we could have children but -" He cuts her off again, by kissing her, and pulls aways and smiles. "I want children, Katniss, yes, with you. But I want you more then anything and I-" She cuts him off again with a kiss. He pulls away and smiles before saying "We just keep interrupting each other today, don't we?" She smiles in return. He's not being silent anymore, he's her Peeta again, and something in that gives her hope.

"Peeta? M-maybe we could...I mean, I'm sure we could..." she trails off, mumbling to herself, but he hears her mumbles, and he allows himself to hope. Hope that yes, she wasn't arguing with him, but actually looking into the possibility of it. She suddenly blurts out "You'd protect them? In the same way I protected Prim?"

He doesn't even hesitate. "Always."

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I hope I did the characters at least some justice. This is the first fan fiction I've actually even typed up on my computer, let alone, post on the internet! I just had this idea pop into my head sometime last week. It was orginally going to be about how Katniss didn't mind the silence, but she minds Peeta's silence as the years pass. It ended up being this, which I like a lot better and fits with the characters more, in my opinion.

It probably needs a few tweeks here and there, but overall I am quite pleased with it.


End file.
